The Only Thing To Fear

In the dictionary, fear is defined as “something that causes feelings of dread or apprehension.” We all have things that we fear, things that we are afraid of, but recently, I got to thinking, (and sometimes, actually, quite frequently that can be dangerous), what do I fear? Well there’s a laundry list of things waiting to be checked off; the dark, heights, falling, spiders, paper cuts, and the odd Sesame Street character that my children seem to LOVE for reasons I will never understand. But . . . what do I really fear? What sends my heart beating like helicopter blades? What puts my stomach in knots with just a thought? And what makes tears form at the back of my eyes when those fears become reality?

Pain.

Failure.

But first and foremost, and the one I am choosing to focus on for the time being: Haters.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with this modern slang term, urbandictionary.com refers to it as a “person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success.  So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.” At first, this may seem like something extremely silly to be afraid of. Why worry about a person who has nothing better to do than sit around and tell people how awful they are out of sheer jealousy? Then again, maybe it is something to be worried about. After all, no matter what you do in life, I would like to hope that we would put our heart in something we enjoy doing. And, if someone is going to do nothing but tear down something that we believe in, something we have put our soul into, then, shouldn’t we be a little afraid?

Well, I’m not here to say either yes or no, because, truthfully, I’m not sure I myself even know the answer yet. Of course I worry about the people who will only find the faults in me and in my work that I have put so much of my effort, time, and heart into creating, but, is there something even bigger to fear from these people who refuse to see past all of my “wrongs?”

Yes.

I feel like writing, whether for fun or as a career, truly is a window into the author’s soul. And when someone reads the words, they’re reading a much bigger message hidden between the lines, a message about the person who puts those words on paper. But when you’re jealous, when you’re a “hater,” you don’t get that message. When you’re a hater all you see is the wrong. When you’re a hater, all you care about is tearing someone down. When you’re a hater . . . you lose.

So yes, like many other people, most of whom are probably too afraid to admit it, I AM afraid of the haters. I’m afriad that no matter what I do, that no matter how hard I try or how much my words mean, all the haters will do is what they do best. HATE. How do I convey my message to people who refuse to accept it? How do I let someone I’ve never met judge me on what they think is viable ground? How do I rise above this fear?

conquer [kong-ker]  

     -verb

to be victiorious; make conquests; GAIN THE VICTORY

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